a little bit of erica by my side

mambo number 5 had it right, we all need a little erica in our lives :)

Month: April, 2013

There’s A Little Place

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Being home with my family (or most of it anyways) is a feeling that I don’t think I can describe. The smell of my house, the comfort of my bed, the movement and the noise of the people I love… There are so many things that I love about my home. Soon my home will be somewhere else, but all these wonderful things will move with it.

I was originally really sad when my parents said they would sell the house and move somewhere else. I knew that this moment would come eventually. There was no way my parents would continue to live in this town once my siblings and I had all moved away for various schools and jobs. Not only that, but the Winters are something else and it takes a days drive to be a days drive from anywhere. I knew that I would not be living in this house for my whole life. But up until it is sold, this has been my house for my whole life. My parents bought it when my mom was pregnant with me. This house is the only home I have ever truly known.

My mom tells me that it isn’t the structure that makes a home, but the people and the things inside it. She is right, I know that, but when the physical structure is no longer ours, I think that I will have a very intense emotional reaction. I am trying to prepare myself for it.

With all of this being said, I am so excited for the next chapter of my life, which includes having my parents move to Kamloops. I will see them more, I will live with them again, and I will be stationary for Summers and school years. I am looking forward to being in one place with all my friends throughout the entire year. It is with a bitter-sweetness that I look at this move. Depending on the day, it can be more sweet than bitter or more bitter than sweet.

There’s a little place
Beat up near a moss grave
We can see you there
In that Northern air

– Northern Air – Elliot Brood

We’ll All Float On

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Sometimes it is really hard to not over think things. I am trying my best to just go with the flow. But seeing as I am not a body of water (although my body is made up of a lot of water) this is easier said than done. I am typically that person who needs to know the plan, and not only the plan, but the plan for the plan. So right now I am trying to release that grip on trying to control things that I really can’t and just move forward in a way that makes me happy and doesn’t hurt other people. Sometimes life is so easy to complicate. I wish people would just say how they feel, but I think that has to start with me. I can’t expect that from others if I am unwilling to do that myself. Ohhhh life. 

Ya I Don’t Want Easy, I Want Crazy

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Got washed away in a summer rain
You can’t undo a fall like this
We’re the kind of crazy people wish that they could be
I’ve searched the world and I know now
It ain’t right if you ain’t lost your mind

There’s no such thing as wild enough
maybe we just think too much

 I Want Crazy, Hunter Hayes

Go Out And Tell The Society

What do you do when you just don’t know?

My answer: ‘I don’t know.”

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It seems as if my life is going especially well right now. Minus the fact that I will be leaving some really great people back home once I move permanently to Kamloops, I am happy with pretty much every aspect of what is going on inside and outside of myself. I am feeling healthy(ish) and I am feeling happy. I have friends, I have best friends, I have a place that I fit in. But even with all this positivity and all the wonderful things going on, I feel like something is missing. And I don’t know what to do because I just don’t know.

But I really think that I do know. I am just afraid to admit it to myself because that would mean I would have to do something about it. I don’t know if I am ready for that at this point. Maybe in the Fall, once all the craziness of the Summer is over I will be willing to admit to myself what is missing and try to fill it. As the band Phoenix says, “Sometimes in the Fall, Fall, Fall, Fall…”

April 22, 2013

Did you know it is Earth Day? Did you know there is a meteor shower today? 

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About, Part 2

 

I have decided to do a part 2 of my about page. Hopefully this will all format correctly and this won’t just become another regular blog posting… Fingers crossed!

I am going to stick with the list format, just with new info. So here is another about me list!

1. I really like sloths. They are so funny.
2. Dancing (usually in a very silly manner) is one of my favourite things.
3. I can’t wait to have time to do more crafts. I love crafts.
4. My favourite food of all the world is Greek salad minus the feta and olives. And any kind of potatoes.
5. The first place I want to travel to is Bali. Why? I don’t really know. I just want to.
6. I actually think my parents are cool. For real.
7. I am an introvert. But I really like people. I just need my own space sometimes.
8. I really like wearing long flowy skirts and dresses. They feel like summer.
9. Walking for the sake of walking is one of my favourite things to do.
10. I want to have a garden that I can grow food in. And then relax near with a book. And maybe a hammock. I think I want a hammock too.

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This is my face. Usually I smile with my teeth. Sometimes I don’t.

Happy Happy Happy

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I am happier than a slinky on an escalator. 

And happier than Dracula volunteering at a blood drive.

And even happier than a body builder directing traffic.

I think that the Geico marketing team is genius. And in watching their commercials it has given me more ways to describe my level of happiness right now. I am not just as happy a clam, (which I really don’t understand, how happy are clams really? Is being as happy as a clam really all that happy?) I am as happy as can be. 

Oui Oui!

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Life is made of little pleasures. Sometimes it is amazing how little things can change your whole day. I found out the fair was in town today! So, that meant an impromptu trip to the fair. And after going on only 2 overpriced rides, I realized how much of a great time I was having. It isn’t always about the actual event, sometimes it is about the little things that make up the big picture. Sometimes it is the small things in life that make the bigger things seem that much better. 

Art, Books, Kiss

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This sums it up nicely. 

Timing + Choices = Life

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I think this statement is false. You can only do what you can with the opportunities that present themselves to you. Those opportunities depend on what other people do in their lives. These people don’t even have to be people you know.

An example, say you want to finally talk to James. You practice what to say to him, you get yourself all pretty, you station yourself somewhere you know he frequents… And then you see him. You are ready to say what you rehearsed, but he is talking to someone on the phone. That someone is his brother who just got a new dog because his landlord found a stray in the yard and no one claimed it. And that dog belonged to an elderly lady whose husband passed away. When she let the dog out, it ran away and she couldn’t chase it, but at the end of the day she hoped that it ran somewhere where it could be taken care of because she knew she wasn’t going to be able to care for it much longer. So there is no way in which you could have spoken to James that day. There were too many other events that were dictating where his life would go. 

Or, example 2, on your way to situate yourself at James’ favourite coffee shop, there is a kid who falls off his bike right near you. So, of course, you stop to help him out. Turns out he was riding his bike to his friends house to have a sleepover, which apparently never happens; usually everyone stays over at his house because they have more room. In helping this kid, you miss seeing James. You cannot follow the path you set because there are other factors that influence the direction of your path. 

So I guess what I am saying is that there is no way to be the only person in control of what you do. Your actions influence other people just as their actions influence you. Life is about timing and making your own decision based on what is presented to you. 

That being said, I don’t think that people should stop trying to do whatever they want. It is in trying to achieve what we want that other opportunities present themselves. Sometimes these opportunities may never have crossed your path otherwise.